Wednesday, January 13, 2010

My Mom Is Trying to Force Me to Have an Abortion

Dear Mardie,
I am pregnant about 5 weeks. My mom is trying to force me to go to get abortion, but I don't want to. Do I have a right to keep my baby? Where I can seek for a place to stay if my mom kicks me out. Please help me

Dear Ali,
Thank you for your question. I can imagine right now seems a little scary, but I'm glad you are taking time to really think about what YOU want to do for you and your baby. No one, not your parents, not your boyfriend, can force you to abort your baby. All of the options you face will be life altering. Of the three options, abortion is the one choice you can't change your mind about later. You have the choice over what happens to your baby, even as a teen mother.

There are definitely some realities you will have to face as you decide what to do next, especially if your mom won't let you live with her and raise your baby with her help. One thing you might want to find out is if she'd kick you out if you made an open adoption plan for your baby. Open adoption can be a positive alternative when raising your baby doesn't work out quite as you hope.

In most circumstances your mom legally cannot simply "kick you out" because she is responsible for you until you are of legal adult age. However, that does not mean she can't make living at home difficult, or that she has to help you raise your baby. Many times there are resources for pregnant teens and young mothers who are not able to live at home with their parents. There is also help for pregnant teens choosing adoption.

As you decide, think about some basic questions such as:
  • How will you provide (food, clothing, housing) for yourself and your baby?
  • Will the father of your baby help out at all?
  • What were your plans for your future if you didn't get pregnant?
  • Do you have school or work that will take up a lot of your time?
  • Do you have any family who will help?
  • What kind of life do you want for your child?
  • Are you ready to do what it takes to raise a child?
It's also fair to look at what your goals are for yourself and decide if you're ready to put those aside yet.

When it comes to deciding what is best for you and your baby listen to your heart and make sure you research your options. There is always more than one solution, even when it may feel like you're stuck. I encourage you to check out a free book, which you can download to your email. It's about open adoption and may be a good way for you to explore your options; go to FreeAdoptionBook.com. Taking time to think about things and to get answers to your questions will help you come to a decision that is best for you and your baby, whether you choose adoption or to raise your baby. Feel free to call 1-800-923-6784 to find out more about resources and help available to you now.