Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I Could Never Give My Baby Away!

Jessica's Story

When I first found out that I was pregnant I was extremely scared. What was I going to do? Some of my friends thought that it was "cool" or "cute" to be pregnant. To be honest, I didn't. I thought it was really stupid of me and I was really mad at the guy that got me pregnant. Yeah, I was in on it, but if I had known what was going to happen, I would never have been with that guy! He wasn't even my boyfriend!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

He Wants Me to Have an Abortion

This question recently came to me from a pregnant teen, considering her pregnancy choices:

Dear Mardie,
My boyfriend wants me to have an abortion and I don't want to. But I don’t want to lose my boyfriend either. Do you have any advice?

Dear Tasha,
Life can be very interesting for a teenager. Compound that with a little personal insecurity, a longing for more independence from parents, and for some, an unplanned pregnancy, and life goes from interesting to downright confusing. It's only natural for girls that find themselves in an unplanned pregnancy situation to look to their boyfriends for help or support. But it sounds like you are in a situation where things don't go as you think they should with your partner.

You need to do what will work best for you. While it is true that you and your boyfriend had to be together for you to become pregnant, the reality is that what you ultimately decide to do is your decision and does not have to be a collaboration between you and him. It is your body, and if he is not willing to be there for you, it is fairly natural for you to feel like it is YOUR baby. Therefore, you have a right to be the one to make the decision that will work best for you.
Whether you are religious or simply do not believe in abortion is really your business. You don't have to justify or substantiate the extent of your beliefs. That's a personal thing. However, when it comes to determining the best course of action for you, you should never feel that you have compromise what you believe for your boyfriend or anyone. Also, you know your boyfriend, so, you may need to just explain to him why you feel like you do and that even though he wants you to have an abortion, you don't want to because it doesn't seem right for you.

Another option is for you and your boyfriend to consider the other choices that you have. If you find that he is not very cooperative, then you may need to get a third party involved, maybe a professional adoption counselor, a counselor at your local clinic, a parent, or a friend. Even if you decide to try to help him to understand the options including adoption or, potentially, keeping and raising the baby, always remember that you need to keep your own ideals and life priorities in the forefront, as you are one most affected.

If you do pursue adoption, there are people who can help you through the process and there are support groups of birth mothers and adoptive parents that can give you the encouragement that you need before, during, and after the process. These people will educate you as to your choice, what they mean for you, and the benefits for your child. They will also be there if no one else is to listen to you and to make you understand that you are not alone. If you would like to look into adoption, visit or call 1-800-923-6784.

Ultimately, it is your choice as to whether you keep the baby, whether you place the baby for adoption, or whether you choose to have an abortion. Before you decide, however, make sure that it's your decision and that no one is forcing you, pressuring you, or threatening you either way. So, even if you find yourself saying, "My boyfriend wants me to have an abortion and I don't want to", the reality is that you don't have to. The final decision is always yours.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Pregnant, worried, no clue how to tell your boyfriend, scared to tell your folks?

Any of those things sound familiar?? You probably feel like you're not ready to be a mom or have to make some decisions that you know one way or another you are going to have to make. It's overwhelming. It's scary.

And, more than anything, you feel alone. Except, guess what... You're not! You may feel trapped, but you aren't. You have choices and we can help you figure out the best one for you.

For instance, many people don't know that adoption still exists, in fact, it's thriving. A lot of young women are in the same spot you are and are choosing adoption for their unborn babies. They can choose the adoptive parents and choose to have contact (even visits!) with the family and their child. Adoption is not goodbye forever, it is taking a scary situation and turning it into a beautiful life. And it is one of your choices.Listen, we could write a book on facing pregnancy by yourself, but we'd rather just talk to you about your situation and see how we can help you. You can call us anytime at 1-800-923-6604.

Pregnancy Counseling Video

Pregnancy counseling for women facing an unplanned pregnancy. I've helped women since 1986 with direction in unplanned pregnancies, offering gentle advice to women who are pregnant. They may be considering parenting or making an adoption plan for their baby or an older child. Adoption is not for everyone but there are more options now . Free legal and counseling services along with assistance for expenses and housing options all at no cost to the birth mother. Get Adoption help 24 hours / 7 days a week by calling 1 800 923-6784 . Ask for a free packet to be sent confidentially to you about adoption

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Cost of Raising Child to 17

Do you know the cost of raising a child today to age 17? You might be here to find out!