Saturday, June 04, 2005

Q & A from a young man

Dear Mardie,
I have a quick question. I think my girlfriend is pregnant and she has told me that if she is, she wants to keep the baby. She thinks we can be a family. We are only 16 years old tho and I'm not cool with that now. I don't even think I'm ready to be a dad now. I'm still in school. Do you know if I have to pay child support if I'm only 16? I mow lawns when school is out but don't make enough really. Thank you for any help. Devin.

Dear Devin,
I would suggest that you talk openly with your girlfriend about the realities of life. Ask her things like "Where will we live?", "Where will we get money for things like diapers, food, clothes, even cell phones?", and "What can we really provide for a baby other than love?" These are things that any parent needs to have good answers for if they are going to provide a safe, stable, and loving environment (and future!) for their child. At your ages, please consider if their is someone in your family who will consider adopting your baby, perhaps there is someone struggling with infertility themselves.

Or, consider an adoptive family -- there are many loving families out there willing to stay in contact with you and your girlfriend through letters, photos, and even visits! Here is a great site that you can view families who are very open in their committment to keep in touch with the birthparents:

Open Adoption - Waiting Families

Best of luck to you Devin!